The Christmas Creature Countdown continues…..(too much alliteration?)
And I’m thinking we probably need to take a break from all the dark, foreboding child-eaters (but don’t worry, we’ll probably venture back).
However, at this point, I fear that you all are going to accuse me of making this shit up – quite literally, but I can assure you that I’m definitely not, and this is indeed not only a Christmas tradition, but also one with an otherworldly creature vibe.
I present to you – “Tió de Nadal / Caga tió” or “The pooping log”
…..now now let’s all be mature here for a second
Tió de Nadal originates from Catalan mythology in Catalonia, Valencia.
The form of the Tió de Nadal found in many Catalan homes during the holiday season is a hollow log about 30 cm (12 in) long. Recently, the Tió has come to stand on two or four stick legs, with a broad, smiling face painted on its upper end, enhanced by a red sock hat (a miniature of the traditional barretina) and often a three-dimensional nose. Those accessories have been added only recently, altering the more conventional, rougher natural appearance of a piece of wood.
Beginning with the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (December 
, one gives the tió a little bit to “eat” every night and usually covers him with a blanket so that he will not be cold. The story goes that in the days preceding Christmas, children must take good care of the log, keeping it warm and feeding it, so that it will defecate (yep you read that right) presents on Christmas Day or Eve.
On Christmas Day or, in some households, on Christmas Eve, children will spank the log and order it to defecate.
The tió does not drop larger objects, as those are considered to be brought by the Three Wise Men. It does leave candies, nuts, torrons, and small toys. Depending on the region of Catalonia, it may also give out dried figs. What comes out of the Tió is a communal, rather than an individual, gift, shared by everyone.
There is also an accompanying song for the “Tioʻ de Nadal” and it translates into English as such:
Shit, tió,
hazelnuts and nougats,
do not shit herrings,
for they are too salty,
shit nougats
for they taste better.
Shit, tió,
almonds and nougats,
and if you don’t want to shit
I will hit you with a stick!
Shit, tió!
..There you go – promise you I’m making this one up.
So will spanking your log until it shits nougat on Christmas day be adopted into your festive traditions this year?
Let us know in the comments
-Sam 
