Hi all, I wanted to jump in and offer a little “pep talk” to those who might need to hear it. I’ve seen a lot of division and general nastiness in the paranormal scene in the last couple of years, not only here but within the communities in Australia, the US, and the UK.
I see newbies being bullied and ridiculed for not knowing the things that can sometimes take years and many investigations to learn or figure out.
I’m seeing experienced researchers and investigators being attacked and even blocked from groups for offering plausible explanations to posted photographs and videos when asked for opinions. These people are often accused of being ”haters” or ”nonbelievers”. The majority of the time, that simply isn’t the case.
I’m seeing sceptics belittling those with less knowledge and, on the flip side, those with less knowledge and new to the scene attacking seasoned investigators. They’ve learned everything they know from binge-watching TV shows, and in their mind, this makes them a higher authority.
I’m seeing teams attack other teams that are more successful than them.
I’m seeing the manipulation and poaching of team members from those who aren’t having much success with their team cohesiveness. I get sent screenshots from teams showing attempted sabotage by other teams trying to soil the reputation of those they see as competition.
I’m seeing inflated egos, self-importance, delusion, ignorance, arrogance, jealousy, narcissism, megalomaniacs, bullies, victim blaming, unfounded accusations and assumptions.
I’m seeing my friends, here and overseas, feeling sad, anxious, depressed and excluded.
I’m seeing people doing great things in the field and being made to feel bad about it.
I’m seeing people trying their best and being shot down in return. Those who give 100% and do amazing and progressive things go unacknowledged, while those with the gift of the social media gab enter the scene with bells and whistles and are often held up high, with all fluff and no substance to show for it.
I’m seeing fakery and hoaxing on YouTube videos for attention and fame. People fabricating fake backstories on previously non-haunted locations to make money. Fame and financial gain from deception and misinformation.
I’ve been in this scene a very long time. I’ve seen people come and go, and I’ve seen some fantastic developments and some unnecessary drama and hurt. The paranormal truly is a spectrum, not only of the wide scope of activity and cases but also of those within it, with varying personalities, mental health situations, levels of experience, and acceptance of each other’s differences, beliefs, and stances in this field.
I’m proud to say I’ve been through it all and have come out more robust, knowledgeable, and more focused on my goals than ever. I still have the 500 or so questions I had as a kid, but I’m still learning as I go and I admit that. With each investigation comes fresh questions but also fresh answers. These are further pieces in that elusive jigsaw puzzle that is the paranormal.
Having said all this, I have to say I have no definitive right or wrong suggestions on how to handle all the above.
However, I can recommend the ”block” and ”delete” buttons on social media. It does work, and it’s almost like erasing those people from your life. Their names don’t appear on feeds; you don’t see their comments or post reactions. They disappear almost entirely from your view. I’ve blocked a few people in the past and have no idea what they do these days, what they say, or if they’re even still alive. They become invisible and believe me, it helps in that healing / moving-on process. Worth a shot anyway.
For those giving this research their all and making a genuine effort, I say carry on doing great things. Ignore the sponges, leeches, and emotional vampires. They aren’t worth it. “Go for gold,” as we say over here in New Zealand.
If we are friends, then you’ll already know you have my utmost love, respect, loyalty, and support, and I wish you all the best in your endeavours.
For those new to the scene, stay solid and focused if this is the path you have chosen to take. It might be a bumpy path sometimes, but it can be a fun and satisfying journey if you can navigate the pot-holes. People in this scene are more than happy to answer your questions or help you grow in any way they can. I know many of them and trust me, the good people far outnumber the bad.
As my nana told me as a kid, “Never be afraid to ask questions. That’s how you learn.” I’ve lived my life by this, and because of that, I’m still asking if I don’t know something. Life is about learning and growing. Another quote is, “Knowledge is power.” This is so true.
Life is also not always meant to be easy. There are ups and downs: fluffy clouds and piles of crap. But there’s always an end to the downsides. I’ve found that positivity lasts longer than negativity. One last classy quote we have over here is ”shit never sticks to the wall long”—something to ponder on.
I’m not big on the whole ”para- unity” thing, as I’ve seen enough to know it’s just a fantasy. Being nice to people, now that can be a reality.
Para-unity only lasts as long as everyone is on the level, or if a team or person can gain leverage from being associated with another team.
Forget para-unity, just be nice to people and have fun finding answers together. There are so many teams and researchers here and worldwide that I support and work alongside, even over great distances. We investigate differently, have differing thoughts, beliefs and theories and might have different techniques or approaches to our work. However, we can still work together in harmony, respect, and have each other’s backs in support.
Be supportive, helpful, understanding, tolerant, and open to the beliefs and opinions of others. Help educate and learn from others. Avoid ego and accept that we don’t know everything and that the world is a fascinating place with many mysteries. There are many things yet to be discovered and experienced and questions to be answered.
It’s a big and multi-faceted scene out there. We got this!
Stay Spooky – Mark
Well said Mark. Great advice!